I came across an article in P31 magazine's January issue that has changed my perspective on the "New Year Resolutions" tradition. Rachel Olsen wrote about how she kicked the whole idea and traded it out for something new.
She explains how instead of setting goals and losing interest after a few short weeks, she picked one word and that was her main focus all year long. Her word this past year was "create", she journal, studied and reflected on it throughout the year. Only her and God know the true change and impact her heart experienced, but as she wrote it was quit obvious Father deepened her love, soul and mind connecting with Him in a more transparent relationship.
At times, when I set goals for myself I feel defeated before I begin. I was very encouraged as I read about her experience. So excited that I'm taking the idea but am using a different word for each month. So many words came to mind; observe, do, love, give, focus, victory, courage.
The word I'd like to start with? Observe.
I'm always distracted. Whether my face is in my phone or my mind is lost in thought, I never am 100% aware of what exactly is going on right in front of me. I'm also very selfish and always feel the need to be right about everything. I've been lacking on listening and connecting with hearts. At the end of the day, I don't like it. I feel greedy when I don't listen. Listening itself is a gift and most of the time people need that more than what I (or you) think would be the best advice.
I've heard several times recently that you learn the most when you shut up and listen. Hopefully I will learn a lot this month.
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Friday, December 14, 2012
Relationships: To be consumed? No. Not to be consumed.
I never directly thought, "I'm in this relationship so I can be happy. He's what makes me happy." But I will admit, I definitely lived that way.
Before this mess of a year, I was consumed by relationship. Having a romantic relationship was my life, the main thing, it was the big circus and I was not leaving that tent! I relied on it, I needed it to text me, call me and see me everyday. Any given moment without it was a mental breakdown. Insecurities would eat me alive and I was a nervous wreck.
These insecurities were from past relationships, past life and extremely horrible experiences. I didn't realize it for the longest time, but when something traumatic happens in life and years down the line, the same thing happens we act out in the same way as we did before. Are you picking up what I'm throwing down?
Example, I dated a cheating, lying, insecure man for years. I knew this about him. But I settled, he would change, right? No. All the lies and horror stories I lived through I carried to my next relationship. A honest, loyal, real loving one. The feelings and thoughts were the same, but the reality was very different. This happens in more circumstances than we realize. Don't get it yet?
Situation+Thought=Feeling
Next situation+Thought=Same feeling
Solution? "Father, take my thoughts captive."
The constant connection in this relationship (the new healthier one) I didn't realize it, but I was actually sucking the life out of the man I loved. Constant connection (Text, twitter, phone calls, visits, ect.) quickly became another job and not something out of love. Like I said before, I was acting out of my own insecurities and while doing that, the relationship became jail, a box, a straight jacket. A smile became something that was to be questioned and a hug was something I felt I'd never receive again. Only the enemy would sink these lies into our hearts.
This past year God took that relationship from me. My heart was broken in the most painful ways. Honestly, I'm still not over everything that happened. It's hard and it's definitely not a light switch. Sometimes, I wish it was because I'm sick and tired of crying over things that happened months ago. But that's when it's best to pray. "Father, take me thoughts captive."
While being apart from the man I loved I learned a lot. I learned a lot about me. I realized, I have a life, I have a heart, passions, hobbies and wonderful friends. As I was learning these things I felt free to be my own person. I was free of all the soul eating energy that the relationship consumption took from me.
While all these things were happening, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about him everyday. I missed him dearly, it was not easy. It was the most difficult learning experience I've had this far.
God graciously and very slowly placed him back into my life. Yes, months of praying and hoping had arrived! But what was next? How much do we talk? Are we going to just be friends? Why am I still crying? Does he actually care about me? Do I really want to be with him? What the heck? Have I lost my mind? Why is dating and relationships so complicated?
Sure enough, God worked it out. Slowly, patiently, and lovingly.
Now, back into a healthy relationship with this person, after learning all the hard stuff. I can breath. I can be myself. I can have my hobbies and passions and still have him in my life. We are able to shares our lives, not be each other's lives. We both can express our opinions and listen to one another. It's so great! Instead of "he makes me happy." It's become more of, "How can I make him happy?" What are little ways I can show I love him? How can I encourage him?
Instead of life sucking, it's become life giving.
Before this mess of a year, I was consumed by relationship. Having a romantic relationship was my life, the main thing, it was the big circus and I was not leaving that tent! I relied on it, I needed it to text me, call me and see me everyday. Any given moment without it was a mental breakdown. Insecurities would eat me alive and I was a nervous wreck.
These insecurities were from past relationships, past life and extremely horrible experiences. I didn't realize it for the longest time, but when something traumatic happens in life and years down the line, the same thing happens we act out in the same way as we did before. Are you picking up what I'm throwing down?
Example, I dated a cheating, lying, insecure man for years. I knew this about him. But I settled, he would change, right? No. All the lies and horror stories I lived through I carried to my next relationship. A honest, loyal, real loving one. The feelings and thoughts were the same, but the reality was very different. This happens in more circumstances than we realize. Don't get it yet?
Situation+Thought=Feeling
Next situation+Thought=Same feeling
Solution? "Father, take my thoughts captive."
The constant connection in this relationship (the new healthier one) I didn't realize it, but I was actually sucking the life out of the man I loved. Constant connection (Text, twitter, phone calls, visits, ect.) quickly became another job and not something out of love. Like I said before, I was acting out of my own insecurities and while doing that, the relationship became jail, a box, a straight jacket. A smile became something that was to be questioned and a hug was something I felt I'd never receive again. Only the enemy would sink these lies into our hearts.
This past year God took that relationship from me. My heart was broken in the most painful ways. Honestly, I'm still not over everything that happened. It's hard and it's definitely not a light switch. Sometimes, I wish it was because I'm sick and tired of crying over things that happened months ago. But that's when it's best to pray. "Father, take me thoughts captive."
While being apart from the man I loved I learned a lot. I learned a lot about me. I realized, I have a life, I have a heart, passions, hobbies and wonderful friends. As I was learning these things I felt free to be my own person. I was free of all the soul eating energy that the relationship consumption took from me.
While all these things were happening, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about him everyday. I missed him dearly, it was not easy. It was the most difficult learning experience I've had this far.
God graciously and very slowly placed him back into my life. Yes, months of praying and hoping had arrived! But what was next? How much do we talk? Are we going to just be friends? Why am I still crying? Does he actually care about me? Do I really want to be with him? What the heck? Have I lost my mind? Why is dating and relationships so complicated?
Sure enough, God worked it out. Slowly, patiently, and lovingly.
Now, back into a healthy relationship with this person, after learning all the hard stuff. I can breath. I can be myself. I can have my hobbies and passions and still have him in my life. We are able to shares our lives, not be each other's lives. We both can express our opinions and listen to one another. It's so great! Instead of "he makes me happy." It's become more of, "How can I make him happy?" What are little ways I can show I love him? How can I encourage him?
Instead of life sucking, it's become life giving.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Controlling love is not love.
While I was wasting away my morning on facebook today I came across a picture of an ex boyfriend. Anger instantly stirred inside me.
He was so horrible to me! He controlled everything I did! I couldn't go out with my friends, I couldn't even buy TOMS shoes. Are you kidding me? Why? Why did what shoes I wore have to be such a big decision? I felt like I was in a tiny box suffocating and the only thing that kept me alive was the fact that I had to feed my cat in the morning.
He was always saying he didn't want other boys looking/talking to me. Cool, fine, I get it. But little did I know at the time it was just his insecurities surfacing. By the end of the relationship I found that he was constantly cheating on me, constantly looking at porn and tried to control me so I wouldn't see his faults. He wanted my heart but had so much turmoil in his that he didn't know how to love.
That life is like a snuggie wrapped in barbed wire. You can't move, you see this nice warm fleece with arms laying on top of you but underneath, it's ripping you apart. You are trying to get comfortable and want to rest and enjoy it while you read a book on the couch but all you're really feeling is pain. Controlling love, is not real love. Recognize this please, before things get too far down the road. Also know that, there is no way to change it. You cannot and will not ever change a person. You don't have the power to, only God does. Which you should leave it up to Him anyways because I can guarantee you that He's a lot better at it anyways.
After accepting Christ in my life, I told God I forgive him for all the hurt he put me through. I told God, this boy has a good heart and to dig it out. I asked God to reveal himself to my ex and let him see real love, love that has freedom and is unconditional.
About nine months ago (after more than two years past of our relationship ending) I received an email from my ex. He said sorry for all the wrong he had done to my heart as well as thank you for showing him what real love should be like. Praise Him.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protect, always trust always preservers. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Amen.
If you are dealing with anything like this and are having a heavy heart I'd be more than happy to listen and talk. Contact me!:)
Sarahlucille.howard@gmail.com
He was so horrible to me! He controlled everything I did! I couldn't go out with my friends, I couldn't even buy TOMS shoes. Are you kidding me? Why? Why did what shoes I wore have to be such a big decision? I felt like I was in a tiny box suffocating and the only thing that kept me alive was the fact that I had to feed my cat in the morning.
He was always saying he didn't want other boys looking/talking to me. Cool, fine, I get it. But little did I know at the time it was just his insecurities surfacing. By the end of the relationship I found that he was constantly cheating on me, constantly looking at porn and tried to control me so I wouldn't see his faults. He wanted my heart but had so much turmoil in his that he didn't know how to love.
That life is like a snuggie wrapped in barbed wire. You can't move, you see this nice warm fleece with arms laying on top of you but underneath, it's ripping you apart. You are trying to get comfortable and want to rest and enjoy it while you read a book on the couch but all you're really feeling is pain. Controlling love, is not real love. Recognize this please, before things get too far down the road. Also know that, there is no way to change it. You cannot and will not ever change a person. You don't have the power to, only God does. Which you should leave it up to Him anyways because I can guarantee you that He's a lot better at it anyways.
After accepting Christ in my life, I told God I forgive him for all the hurt he put me through. I told God, this boy has a good heart and to dig it out. I asked God to reveal himself to my ex and let him see real love, love that has freedom and is unconditional.
About nine months ago (after more than two years past of our relationship ending) I received an email from my ex. He said sorry for all the wrong he had done to my heart as well as thank you for showing him what real love should be like. Praise Him.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protect, always trust always preservers. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Amen.
If you are dealing with anything like this and are having a heavy heart I'd be more than happy to listen and talk. Contact me!:)
Sarahlucille.howard@gmail.com
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
What's in Alabama?
Tomorrow morning I will be headed off to a fairy tale land I've, at this point only heard of or viewed on podcast. This entire trip idea started during a one on one time I spent with God about a month ago. I had specific directions to go to a particular ministry school, in Alabama. Which is about 10 hours away. Yes, 10 flipping hours away from my precious, beloved friends and family. Now, when I say, "go" at first I thought it was a for sure I'm going to this school and that's that. After seeking council I've realized other wise. I may end up going for the year or I may end up going for a week.
Either way at this point, I'm facing fear. It's 9:34am, I've been awake since 8 and have already cried twice about leaving. As well as ate half a bag of chocolate that was sitting by my bed. (I am woman, hear me rawr. Ha.)
I feel like a cat clinched to the couch by it's claws and having someone rip me off it. Anxiety is settling in and my emotions are haywire. Sometimes that's my least favorite part about being a woman, no, a human.
What I'm fearing the most is what will happen when I get down there. I'd like to have an open mind but it's kind of hard to when you absolutely love everything about life in your current place in life. Why would I want to leave? I have great friends, great job, great group, I love all the girls God has put in my life, I can see a future here. Like, what the heck? Why is this happening?
In this moment I'd like to believe it's a test of faith, like Abraham with his son. That story keeps coming up in random conversations. But who knows what's really going on in the bigger picture, I sure don't. No matter what does happen, it is my call to be obedient and that is what I must follow.
Sorry for such a ramble post. I always promised myself I'd never write anything that wasn't encouraging on here. But I believe it's also nice to see that we are all human and we all process through rough choices in life. I'm not sure why God has me throw mine on the internet but I know (just from feed back from all you AMAZING ladies) it's bee helpful to some in your own lives.:)
Thank you! I love you! Be obedient! You're awesome! I feel better now! haha.
All glory to God!!
Either way at this point, I'm facing fear. It's 9:34am, I've been awake since 8 and have already cried twice about leaving. As well as ate half a bag of chocolate that was sitting by my bed. (I am woman, hear me rawr. Ha.)
I feel like a cat clinched to the couch by it's claws and having someone rip me off it. Anxiety is settling in and my emotions are haywire. Sometimes that's my least favorite part about being a woman, no, a human.
What I'm fearing the most is what will happen when I get down there. I'd like to have an open mind but it's kind of hard to when you absolutely love everything about life in your current place in life. Why would I want to leave? I have great friends, great job, great group, I love all the girls God has put in my life, I can see a future here. Like, what the heck? Why is this happening?
In this moment I'd like to believe it's a test of faith, like Abraham with his son. That story keeps coming up in random conversations. But who knows what's really going on in the bigger picture, I sure don't. No matter what does happen, it is my call to be obedient and that is what I must follow.
Sorry for such a ramble post. I always promised myself I'd never write anything that wasn't encouraging on here. But I believe it's also nice to see that we are all human and we all process through rough choices in life. I'm not sure why God has me throw mine on the internet but I know (just from feed back from all you AMAZING ladies) it's bee helpful to some in your own lives.:)
Thank you! I love you! Be obedient! You're awesome! I feel better now! haha.
All glory to God!!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Where do we meet beautiful?
Where do we meet beautiful?
For me, I thought I was going to meet beautiful at a lighter version of myself.
This past month I fasted eating nothing but fruits and veggies. I wanted to fast for self discipline and a stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father, which was achieved. But by the end of the month, I did find the lighter version of myself that I sought to feel beautiful. When I looked myself in the mirror March 1st I found a pale face with shoulder blades and ribs in clear sight. It was the farthest thing from beautiful.
Where I did meet beautiful in that month was in places I never thought I'd find it. Beautiful came to me when I sat still and listened to God. When I truly sought Him and opened the door of my heart to let Him in. When I asked Him what the desires of my heart were and He began to show me. I met beautiful by washing my mind with, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) I met beautiful through accepting encouraging words, letting myself be loved. I met beautiful in loving others and practicing being a "big sister". I met beautiful when my brokenness started becoming the will to complete God's mission.
A beautiful woman is broken and is seeking her God.
Beautiful is taking down the bars the world wants you to live up to and giving them to God. It's not only beautiful, it's freedom.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I use to punch people
I use to punch people. Don't believe me? Ask Azia, she knows everything. Sometimes I still want to punch people. There are actually a couple people I could punch and when they'd turn the other cheek, I'd punch em again.
Anger? Bitterness? Insecurities? Hurt? Fear? Pure fun? A little bit of everything here.
Now, let me set something straight. I never would go around randomly hitting whoever looked at me funny. It was always someone that invaded my privacy, grabbed me the wrong way, called me the wrong name, disrespecting me, my womanhood. Call me a crazy feminist and you're 92% dead on.
Even in my rebellious, crazy, blinded days I knew I was worth more than, "Damn girl." When we'd go out and guys would hit on me, it didn't feel good. It made me feel worse. As the time went on I became more broken than ever. I was hurt because I knew I had an amazing heart and no one saw it. Then, slowly but surely resulted into this tough girl literally punching people in the face when they disrespected me. I have a soul, thoughts and dreams! Why didn't they see this? Rather, they rated my body on a scale from one to ten, it made me want to vomit. There were some nights I loathed in men's disrespect so much I drank myself to getting sick, everywhere.
Broken heart after broken heart, not knowing value nor feeling real love. This is a vicious cycle the world has going and it will never stop. At least that's what I thought, until I found Him.
Him. My prince charming, the love of my live. The one that could (and did) put my shattered heart back together. Jesus Christ.
When I took God as my savior I thought everything was going to be unicorns and glitter! I obviously didn't realize what I was getting myself into.
It has been rough. Looking back on the past, feeling the pain rather than avoiding it with the next drink. Opening those scars and letting Him heal them to new skin, it hurt. But it has been so worth it. Over a year ago I had a friend tell me, "Sarah, I know many girls that have been victims of rape with horrible past and they each have been completely restored. You will be too, just keep pressing on The Lord." I didn't believe him.
For eight years I had the person that stole my innocence from me haunt my mind everyday. I'd wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night over and over again. There was one point where I shut off my phone for several days, hermitting from everything. I planned on visiting him in jail to face him. To ask him, why me?
That's when I learned to lean on God. Yes, He was opening up pain I had been avoiding for years but He was also healing my heart. Taking off the bandages and having me rely on Him, not the false fixes. I didn't need to go back and get answers, I needed to look forward to the glorious Father that was waiting for me.
I dove into the word, spent hours praying and started to share my story. The actual story. God has used this part of my life. He's used my broken heart turned crazy more than I ever thought He would. I had no idea I'd one day be mentoring high school girls with the same things happening in their lives. I didn't even know what mentoring was! And to use my story to help them down the path to the Lord!? It was definitely worth all the pain, the sleepless nights and the lonely lunch periods. If I had to, I'd live those years over and over again to help these girls.
God is using me, why? Because He loves me and has an amazing plan for me. You want to know what's most beautiful about that statement? I finally believe it.
All Glory To God.
Anger? Bitterness? Insecurities? Hurt? Fear? Pure fun? A little bit of everything here.
Now, let me set something straight. I never would go around randomly hitting whoever looked at me funny. It was always someone that invaded my privacy, grabbed me the wrong way, called me the wrong name, disrespecting me, my womanhood. Call me a crazy feminist and you're 92% dead on.
Even in my rebellious, crazy, blinded days I knew I was worth more than, "Damn girl." When we'd go out and guys would hit on me, it didn't feel good. It made me feel worse. As the time went on I became more broken than ever. I was hurt because I knew I had an amazing heart and no one saw it. Then, slowly but surely resulted into this tough girl literally punching people in the face when they disrespected me. I have a soul, thoughts and dreams! Why didn't they see this? Rather, they rated my body on a scale from one to ten, it made me want to vomit. There were some nights I loathed in men's disrespect so much I drank myself to getting sick, everywhere.
Broken heart after broken heart, not knowing value nor feeling real love. This is a vicious cycle the world has going and it will never stop. At least that's what I thought, until I found Him.
Him. My prince charming, the love of my live. The one that could (and did) put my shattered heart back together. Jesus Christ.
When I took God as my savior I thought everything was going to be unicorns and glitter! I obviously didn't realize what I was getting myself into.
It has been rough. Looking back on the past, feeling the pain rather than avoiding it with the next drink. Opening those scars and letting Him heal them to new skin, it hurt. But it has been so worth it. Over a year ago I had a friend tell me, "Sarah, I know many girls that have been victims of rape with horrible past and they each have been completely restored. You will be too, just keep pressing on The Lord." I didn't believe him.
For eight years I had the person that stole my innocence from me haunt my mind everyday. I'd wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night over and over again. There was one point where I shut off my phone for several days, hermitting from everything. I planned on visiting him in jail to face him. To ask him, why me?
That's when I learned to lean on God. Yes, He was opening up pain I had been avoiding for years but He was also healing my heart. Taking off the bandages and having me rely on Him, not the false fixes. I didn't need to go back and get answers, I needed to look forward to the glorious Father that was waiting for me.
I dove into the word, spent hours praying and started to share my story. The actual story. God has used this part of my life. He's used my broken heart turned crazy more than I ever thought He would. I had no idea I'd one day be mentoring high school girls with the same things happening in their lives. I didn't even know what mentoring was! And to use my story to help them down the path to the Lord!? It was definitely worth all the pain, the sleepless nights and the lonely lunch periods. If I had to, I'd live those years over and over again to help these girls.
God is using me, why? Because He loves me and has an amazing plan for me. You want to know what's most beautiful about that statement? I finally believe it.
All Glory To God.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
A family, finally together
When I walked in the door of my mother's house this past Sunday I prepared myself. I knew it was going to be a bit of a hectic stress mess with my little brother rushing around getting everything thrown into a backpack.
My guess was correct. He had his bag on the couch with everything he needed beside it. Socks, two pairs of underwear, a folder with his high school diploma and another set of clothes. His stubbornness surfaced and nerves were being thrown everywhere, yelling every which way he faced. In his favorite jeans and buckeye hoodie on he was about ready. The day had finally come after five months of anticipation. He was leaving for boot camp.
The house felt broken. It felt stressed and anxious. I tired my best to keep my patience, to change the atmosphere. But it was too strong for my current state of weakness. I backed off with a little prayer in mind, then it came.
My step father, a six foot six, muscular, very scary, bearded black man walked down from the room he often locks himself in. I felt it, the Holy Spirit was present. "Praise Jesus" I thought. As he walked down the steps singing an old Luniz song (I got 5 on it) my unsaved brother felt it too, I could tell by the smile on his face. Actually it was more than a smile I saw, it was stubbornness turned to joy. I giggled, knowing that's something my brother is going to miss. Jamie (my step dad) singing everything from Fall Out Boy to 2Pac while he goes about his day. It use to annoy me but I must admit, since I've moved it's something I miss too.
After Jamie topped off his coffee and he walked in the slightly more calm living room he said, "What are ya'll doing! Mommy, put down that check list, Tim stop trippin boy. It's time to pray!" I've never seen my mother's mouth drop so quickly. I was shocked myself. You see, this was not something that happens in my family. Before Thanksgiving dinner, of course. But to come together? As a family? And pray? For a current situation or worry or stress. UNHEARD OF. After I realized what was about to happen the Holy Spirit had already brought tears to my eyes. The thought that my little brother would be able to experience God's love the way I've been blessed with so many times, for the absolute very first time was breath taking. Even the thought of it now brings me tears, tears of joy.
Then, we all kneeled down at the couch. Jamie spread his arms across all of us and began the prayer. I've never heard him pray before, it was one of the most beautiful things God granted my ears to hear. I could tell my little brother didn't really know how to take it all in. He was a little embarrassed, he felt a tug on his heart and he became more curious of what living with God is truly like. He may not realize it yet, but he did.
I was so proud of Jamie that day. For doing his part in the family as a man, a holy man, a man of God. It was something I had been yearning to experience for years. A family, a family together, truly together.
Now, my brother is unsaved at the moment. I've tried to talk to him about Jesus many times but he doesn't understand. It was hard for me to accept the fact that he's on God's time, not mine. If it was my choice he would have been slaying demons a long time ago. But I know The Lord has the perfect time for him and I have faith that it will happen. If you're reading this, please send a prayer up for my brother to look to the Father and to let God have his heart.
Thank you.
ALL GLORY TO GOD.
The house felt broken. It felt stressed and anxious. I tired my best to keep my patience, to change the atmosphere. But it was too strong for my current state of weakness. I backed off with a little prayer in mind, then it came.
My step father, a six foot six, muscular, very scary, bearded black man walked down from the room he often locks himself in. I felt it, the Holy Spirit was present. "Praise Jesus" I thought. As he walked down the steps singing an old Luniz song (I got 5 on it) my unsaved brother felt it too, I could tell by the smile on his face. Actually it was more than a smile I saw, it was stubbornness turned to joy. I giggled, knowing that's something my brother is going to miss. Jamie (my step dad) singing everything from Fall Out Boy to 2Pac while he goes about his day. It use to annoy me but I must admit, since I've moved it's something I miss too.
After Jamie topped off his coffee and he walked in the slightly more calm living room he said, "What are ya'll doing! Mommy, put down that check list, Tim stop trippin boy. It's time to pray!" I've never seen my mother's mouth drop so quickly. I was shocked myself. You see, this was not something that happens in my family. Before Thanksgiving dinner, of course. But to come together? As a family? And pray? For a current situation or worry or stress. UNHEARD OF. After I realized what was about to happen the Holy Spirit had already brought tears to my eyes. The thought that my little brother would be able to experience God's love the way I've been blessed with so many times, for the absolute very first time was breath taking. Even the thought of it now brings me tears, tears of joy.
Then, we all kneeled down at the couch. Jamie spread his arms across all of us and began the prayer. I've never heard him pray before, it was one of the most beautiful things God granted my ears to hear. I could tell my little brother didn't really know how to take it all in. He was a little embarrassed, he felt a tug on his heart and he became more curious of what living with God is truly like. He may not realize it yet, but he did.
I was so proud of Jamie that day. For doing his part in the family as a man, a holy man, a man of God. It was something I had been yearning to experience for years. A family, a family together, truly together.
Now, my brother is unsaved at the moment. I've tried to talk to him about Jesus many times but he doesn't understand. It was hard for me to accept the fact that he's on God's time, not mine. If it was my choice he would have been slaying demons a long time ago. But I know The Lord has the perfect time for him and I have faith that it will happen. If you're reading this, please send a prayer up for my brother to look to the Father and to let God have his heart.
Thank you.
ALL GLORY TO GOD.
The last hair cut before he left! Jamie and Tim.:)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Allow me to re-introduce myself..
My name is Hovv. Jay Z? Public service announcement? Anybody?
crickets..
Just kidding. I always wanted to say that though. haha. But really, I'm Sarah Lu. Hi.
Since this is a new blog I figured it'd be a good idea to give all who read a little bit of info about me.:)
First things first, I am a list maker. So this is going to just become a list.
1. Now I feel better.
2. I live in a ministry house with four girls around my age and a awesome amazingly wise couple, Phil and Julie. I love it! I've been here for about five months and wouldn't change it for the world. There is a home church at the house every Saturday night. Check out THIS SITE for more info!
3. I enjoy cats, but am catless. I know, it's depressing.
4. I luckily have found the love of my life and we are learning how to have a long lasting solid relationship. I will tell you, it's a lot of work. Most likely you'll get a peek of all our little dates and road trips!
5. I use to own/operate Ontheblockvintage. It was a dream of mine to get it up and going successfully but due to some life changing events, I decided it would be best to give it a rest and shut it down. I'm very happy with the way things are going now. which brings me to..
6. I have big plans on opening a Esty shop! Mom and I started taking vintage furniture and revamping the looks. It's so much fun and we're working on creating enough pieces to rent a space here in Columbus as well as have the online store. So with that being said I'll be sharing all of the hard work that goes into it as well as the steps we're taking to make it work!
7. I'm quitting my full time job, picking up a part time one and am working on living the dream!!
I'll end on seven. That's a good number, plus I've got to save some for next week!
Thank you all who have already been reading and all future readers! I hope to meet some lovely ladies through the blog and make amazing friends!
xo
crickets..
Just kidding. I always wanted to say that though. haha. But really, I'm Sarah Lu. Hi.
Since this is a new blog I figured it'd be a good idea to give all who read a little bit of info about me.:)
First things first, I am a list maker. So this is going to just become a list.
1. Now I feel better.
2. I live in a ministry house with four girls around my age and a awesome amazingly wise couple, Phil and Julie. I love it! I've been here for about five months and wouldn't change it for the world. There is a home church at the house every Saturday night. Check out THIS SITE for more info!
3. I enjoy cats, but am catless. I know, it's depressing.
4. I luckily have found the love of my life and we are learning how to have a long lasting solid relationship. I will tell you, it's a lot of work. Most likely you'll get a peek of all our little dates and road trips!
5. I use to own/operate Ontheblockvintage. It was a dream of mine to get it up and going successfully but due to some life changing events, I decided it would be best to give it a rest and shut it down. I'm very happy with the way things are going now. which brings me to..
6. I have big plans on opening a Esty shop! Mom and I started taking vintage furniture and revamping the looks. It's so much fun and we're working on creating enough pieces to rent a space here in Columbus as well as have the online store. So with that being said I'll be sharing all of the hard work that goes into it as well as the steps we're taking to make it work!
7. I'm quitting my full time job, picking up a part time one and am working on living the dream!!
I'll end on seven. That's a good number, plus I've got to save some for next week!
Thank you all who have already been reading and all future readers! I hope to meet some lovely ladies through the blog and make amazing friends!
xo
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