Before I knew who Jesus was I
knew myself as Stupid Object. For some of you, you’re repeating,”yep” in your
head. You know what I’m about to say before it’s said. I’d like to say I’m
sorry if you already shook your head in agreement with me. Just remember God is
the mighty redeemer. For the others, eyebrows are wrinkled together as you
scratch your head. Let me explain.
Stupid Object came
from a combination of events. It started with being made fun of in school by
others kids. The jokes were mostly about my lack of intelligence. Then, the
name opened a new wound when I became a victim of rape at fourteen. Lie after
lie saturated my thoughts and I got to a point in life where I merely gave up.
Unfortunately
there is not enough time today for all the details of the giving up point.
However, I will say that when I gave up, God took my place and walked in.
For the past three
years I have passionately pursued God. Within this time He has started a
restoration process on my heart. Day after day a tiny nugget is chipped off the
boulder of lies I sit on. As God faithfully works on me each day, I’ve been
able to come to a point where I no longer claim Stupid Object. In a faint
distance I hear a whisper, a new name, Strong Beauty.
This
summer I jumped back into school and it was not something I decided on my own.
God led me to it. At first I was confused as to why He wanted me there, but now
it makes so much sense! In order to go back to school I had to conquer fears.
Fears that started to build in me at the age of 7.
He
wanted to love me in a new way and teach me more about Himself. He wanted prove
to me how good He is. So he could show me, Yes, I care about your relationship
with your professors. Yes, I will give you ideas for papers. Yes, I will be
with you when you share your opinions in class. Yes, I can provide for you financially. Yes, you are smart! Yes, you can do this! Yes, you are on the path I
set for you!
Get
it yet?
Sarah Lu- thank you so much for linking up today and for sharing something so deep and painful about your past. I rejoice with you as Jesus is clearly leading your path and showing you how He sees you and the plans that He has for you.
ReplyDeleteKerry, thank you for having it! I was so excited to participate in it! Thanks for taking the time to read! Thank you for the encouragement:)
DeleteSarah. This story is so touching. God is so good. More than good. He has the amazing ability and desire to wipe us off and renew us again and again if needed. I'm so thankful to Him for the work He has done in your life!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so sweet and taking the time to read it! I really appreciate your encouragement! God is so good!!
DeleteYou are bold and amazing for pursuing the Lord as passionately as you do. Jesus will do that, have you face your fears all the while loving you to the point of casting out fear with His perfect love. He has a plan for you! There is a worship song we sing at church, the lyrics go like this, "Come away with me...it is never too late...it is not too late for you...I have a plan for you, it's gonna be wild, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be full of me, open up your heart and let me in." Jesus Culture sings it and it reminds me of your story. Thank you for sharing your heart! Love, Rachael @ Inking the Heart
ReplyDeleteRachel, THANK YOU so much for reading and the encouragement! That song is amazing, thank you. Hope all is well.:)
DeleteYou words carry the rhythm of that strong beauty. You told your story so well. It radiates Christ and I see him so clearly in who you are becoming. May his extravagant love continue to meet you every day of your bold adventure as God rewrites that story, your story titled Strong Beauty.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Thank you for taking the time to read and the encouragement. It's amazing to meet fellow believers in the blogging world.:):) God is so good!:)
Delete