When two are in His name all the fighting and arguing turns into listening and understanding. Or, at least it should. If it doesn't have hope, it will eventually.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 3 years now. I will tell you one thing, the ONLY reason why things keep going is because of God's grace and mercy.
Zac and I have been learning a lot about one another lately and about how to function in a relationship. It's probably the most difficult thing I've ever done. Humbling always has a say in these arguments and I've noticed that there are always two sides to every story and situation. It's important to remember that those two sides have two different feelings and views on each situation. Remember, when you're on one side, the other side needs comfort too, so listen. Listening is one of the greatest expressions of love that does not get used enough.
The heart is like a coin. When it's good it's great, but flip it and Satan very quickly takes a stand for breaking.
Situation after situation I've grown to realize how passive aggressive I am. I never thought of my self as a passive aggressive person but my actions show otherwise. When something happens that gets my insecurities going I look past it. As I look past it I take a little stab to the heart, ignoring the pain. Later, another stab comes, again and again until finally I'm blowing up about four different things and Zac is completely confused as to what exactly is going on. This has been something I had to take a hold of and stop letting Satan win with all the lies I've been fed my entire life.
This is a new life, one that will last eternity and the good guy always wins.
It took years, a honest relationship and the Holy Spirit's work to acknowledge the draining patterns. Now, instead of waiting to explode I'm trying to take note and talk things out. You know the saying "A penny saved is a penny earned"? Well, flip it in a horrible way. "A lie saved is a lie earned, until the jar is full and you've lost it." Let the lie out, even if it seems petty. It feels amazing to put things on the table and let them go. Give them to God first, then hash it out with whoever the bump in the road is with.
It's important to remember, not everyone deals with their pennies the way you deal with yours. Pennies have two sides, just like relationships and situations. So don't be offended if your friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, mother/father, or whoever does not want to hash out the coin. That's something else I've had to learn, my boyfriend is an internal person. He likes to think about his pennies and then have a respectable adult like conversation about them. I admire him for that and I hope to attain that attitude one day.
This is a life learning process. At times I get discouraged thinking about all the work and heart change yet to be done. With that I try to flip it and remember, each step is just one more closer to God.