Friday, September 14, 2012

healing

I lost my innocence at 14. It had always made me wish my up bringing would of been filled with better morals and maybe some karate. My view has changed a bit the past year about the situation. Bad things happen, life happens. It's not something to get over, it's something to give to God. 

I'd have to say my view on it now is not a bitterness trying to wish away reality. No, more of a fight. A fight to glorify God, even with the dark days. Let's be real, with that event happening it led to other things that I'm not proud of. But even in the dark days God had me under His wing. He spared me. I could easily be dying of Aids, working three jobs to support the baby or locked in a room hiding from a abusive boyfriend that I'm terrified to see when he comes home. God has always had a beautiful plan for my life and I'm incredibly thankful for it. I'm secure in Him. He never left me, even when I thought I was alone.

I use to hate it when people say things like, "You just have to trust God." or "Give it to God. You have to let go of it." Because as they would say those things I'd follow up with, "Yeah, I want to but how exactly do I do that?" They never had the day to day answer I was looking for.

I've come to the conclusion that for each person it's different. Which is beauty in itself showing how creative God really is. For me, I was able to let go of the hurt when I found someone I could trust. Someone that would listen, wouldn't judge and continue to love. I use to think someone with those qualities didn't exist but there's a lot more around than you'd think. So just trust. Which brings me to the other thing that was huge for me. It takes a day to day relationship in order to build trust. Build that with God! I'm a journal person, so I wrote out my hurts and pain in prayer asking God to take them. I also was in prayer outside of my journal and keeping my mind filled with scripture forming a solid foundation. Surround yourself with God loving people that will lift you up. The more you express yourself the more you will feel the pain be healed. It's so beautiful.

Isaiah 41:10

1 comment:

I truly appreciate you reading Denim and Eve! Thank you for the love!