Tomorrow morning I will be headed off to a fairy tale land I've, at this point only heard of or viewed on podcast. This entire trip idea started during a one on one time I spent with God about a month ago. I had specific directions to go to a particular ministry school, in Alabama. Which is about 10 hours away. Yes, 10 flipping hours away from my precious, beloved friends and family. Now, when I say, "go" at first I thought it was a for sure I'm going to this school and that's that. After seeking council I've realized other wise. I may end up going for the year or I may end up going for a week.
Either way at this point, I'm facing fear. It's 9:34am, I've been awake since 8 and have already cried twice about leaving. As well as ate half a bag of chocolate that was sitting by my bed. (I am woman, hear me rawr. Ha.)
I feel like a cat clinched to the couch by it's claws and having someone rip me off it. Anxiety is settling in and my emotions are haywire. Sometimes that's my least favorite part about being a woman, no, a human.
What I'm fearing the most is what will happen when I get down there. I'd like to have an open mind but it's kind of hard to when you absolutely love everything about life in your current place in life. Why would I want to leave? I have great friends, great job, great group, I love all the girls God has put in my life, I can see a future here. Like, what the heck? Why is this happening?
In this moment I'd like to believe it's a test of faith, like Abraham with his son. That story keeps coming up in random conversations. But who knows what's really going on in the bigger picture, I sure don't. No matter what does happen, it is my call to be obedient and that is what I must follow.
Sorry for such a ramble post. I always promised myself I'd never write anything that wasn't encouraging on here. But I believe it's also nice to see that we are all human and we all process through rough choices in life. I'm not sure why God has me throw mine on the internet but I know (just from feed back from all you AMAZING ladies) it's bee helpful to some in your own lives.:)
Thank you! I love you! Be obedient! You're awesome! I feel better now! haha.
All glory to God!!