Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why I haven't been able to write

This past month I haven't been able to finish one story, one feeling, one paragraph. I WRITE! I like words, it's what I do, it's what I want to get good at! I have over fifteen unfinished blogs in my draft box waiting for me to come back around and add that last final touch. But I'm not able to, He won't let me.

Because I'm being selfish. 

You see, I like to feel good. Like most human beings, I like to feel like I accomplished something. I like the credit. It feels great, like I some how got accepted into this noodle mess of a world. When I receive lovely compliments on acts of kindness, or something encouraging I wrote I say, "Thanks!" with the biggest grin on my face and a little bit of a kick in my step. Why? Because I did something good.

WHAT. AN. IDIOT. I? Me? I have done nothing good. Nothing! The only thing I've done is take credit for a kingdom I don't even deserve to be a part of! Besides, if you really knew me, you'd know I'm one of the most scatter brained people to walk this earth and to have one clear thought is almost unheard of! It is only by God's grace that I'm even able to write. 

This is all God's doing. He is the one that lives in my heart. He is the one that pumps my veins with love. He is the one I seek for all answers. He is the one I'm up with at night.  He is the one I ask for words every time I do sit down to write!

Why must I be so human?

Forgive me please. I've took your words and claimed them for my own. My hearts passion is to inspire others to live for and with You when all I've been doing is living for myself. Shift my eyes Father, this runt I'm in does have a end but I need You to get through it. Help me not look back at the freedom I had before but the freedom I have waiting. 
in Jesus name.

All glory to God. 

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