Wow, it does not seem like I started these blogs a week ago. It seems like, three days. Time fly's by when you're growing with Jesus! (Yes, my humor is more corny than your grandmothers.) But on a more serious note, this has been slightly difficult for me. See, I love praying for others in my car or throughout the day but as far as mine needs I never focus on them. At least not this detailed. But making this commitment has helped me grow amazingly. A wise man told me this morning, "It's like exercise. It's hard but it's great." I couldn't agree more. This is a exercise that I needed. And as it goes on, my relationship with God grows, it has hopped off the couch and been shaping up.
I would encourage whoever you are reading this to try something similar. Whether it be in a journal, verbally or through blog. How ever you choose. The first thing I'd suggest is to admit to God what you've been holding back. For me I had to think about it but quickly found that I didn't believe I was loved. Not only from God but human relationships. It was odd, I knew but I didn't live in it. I was all sorts of worry which eventually took down relationships and my trust I had in God. I had to rebuild. Well, I'm rebuilding.
Then within time, start to repent. Pray and ask God for His guidance to open your eyes and strength to start changing your heart. It is a tough thing to do, especially when you feel like you're doing a million things wrong. But remember to take the days one step at a time. It's alright to fail as long as you keep seeking God throughout your journey and don't fall in complacency. Most importantly, DON'T YOU DARE take God's grace for advantage. Thinking, "Oh God will forgive me anyways." is not a process of true sanctification or transformation. And you want true sanctification and transformation because I will tell you people first hand, it is great.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: Stay in God's word.
Remember this is just a start. If you're feeling complacent or have apathy sweeping in. I challenge you to this.
You're awesome. Thank you for blessing me with great friends that are always there for me. Our mini adventures and all the laughs. Thank you for a loving mother that is willing to take off work for me to get my car fixed. She's so amazing. Thank you for my work community and the greatest managers in the world!
Father, what is it I do that you take pleasure in? Or more so, what is it that I can do that will have you dancing in heaven? I'm not aiming to over achieve. I'm aiming to be a slave of righteousness. I'm aiming to be free from the world's goals and pressure. I'm aiming to be loving and free.
I pray that You stay with me in the rough moments. That I think of You in them and speak to You. For some reason I thought those rough moments magically disappeared and I was in this fancy golden happy place. I was reminded today that they have not. That I'm still hurt and still human. But I know You are the ultimate healer and within time my heart will be in a place I would have never imagined. I praise You ahead of time for that place.
in Jesus name.
May it be so.