As my ping pong skills were increasing tonight I found myself thinking about what to write about. You know, it's the big day! Day 10! I made it! I made a commitment, stuck to it and got much more than what I anticipated from it. So, I was thinking of doing a intro of what I learned, how it helped and do some encouraging for others. As I prayed before I started the blog tonight, as I do every night God put in on my heart to just talk to Him. Just pray. So i must be obedient and do so..
I'm upset with myself. I acted on anger today and I feel horrible about it. I don't know how to fix it, I can't. Please forgive me for resulting to the old habits. I know this change is a process and I know the more I press into You the easier and more successful the change gets. It's hard and painful though. Forgive me also because there are sometimes moments where I feel like there is no hope for the future. But then am quickly reminded that You have this under control and I need to just rest in Your love and be still. Now God, I do want to thank You for Your patience with me. For always being there to turn to. For loving me and blessing grace over me. Thank You for this challenge I made for myself and the confidence You've grown in me to commit to something. The truthful thoughts You run into my mind; "You're beautiful. You're smart. You're doing great!". Thank You for finally breaking threw and making me actually believe them. I am loved, I am smart and I am beautiful. Thank You for throwing this trial at me, although I'm still hurt at times. I've grown so much just in these past ten days. I went from an insecure helpless girl trying to control the world by what I was eating to a comfortable, faithful, trusting happy woman.
I read through some of the first blogs right before I started this prayer and it is completely unbelievable the change You've done in my heart. It's amazing what You were able to do once I handed over that tiny little mustard seed. Thank You again for saving my life. For changing me, for making me the person I've been wanting to be. You're so amazing and the little hidden treasures I find along this journey are completely unreal and out of this world of love.
God, I know that this is just a small step closer to You but it feels huge. Thank You again for the community You've put me in. It's awesome how You've placed us all together. How we all fit together. I pray that as the journey goes on we're all able to hold each other accountable and truly be intentional with one another. I ask that as our walks continue we are able to grow closer to You as well as together as one in You.
Lord, I ask that I'm able to be patient as I am suppose to be still. I honestly want to give up every three days and look around for other things to be occupied with. But I pray that I continue to grow in this stillness and am able to love and be loved more than I could imagine. Lord, help me be a blessing to someone else.
Father I ask that You continue to help me repent and show me what I need to cut from my life. I do set extremely high goals for myself and put too much pressure to achieve them in little to no time. Continue to remind me that this is all a process and it takes time. I do want to become the person You need me to be to glorify Your kingdom in this world. Help me be the best I can.
I pray that my faith will continue to increase. That I am in peace with my faith and that my heart aligns with Yours. That as I am transformed I'm able to see creation the way You see it. To see the beauty in all.
Thank You for the beginning of a new light. Thank You for taking care of me. Thank You for loving me and calling me to Your kingdom. This world was meaningless without You.
i love you.
in Jesus name.
May it be so.